I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
