i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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