As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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