Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
