I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
