we have officially lost it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
