And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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