I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm at about main and main street
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
