Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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