i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
