fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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