im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
