She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
