You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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