Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize