I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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