what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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