Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
