it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
