Christians are straight up FREAKS
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
