8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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