Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
