What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
