She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize