Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
