Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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