You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize