Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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