you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
last night I used snow as a chaser
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
