I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize