Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
