I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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