Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Couch. On fire.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
