Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize