I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
