You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
