WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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