then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
