Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
