Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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