You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
