omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just want to make out with him forever
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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