Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize