I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
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i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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