Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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