somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
