His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
