I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
