So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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