So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
