Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
