I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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