I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
