If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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