No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
