Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
