Soap is not a condiment
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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