i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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