I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
