I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
