Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
