is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize