i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
