don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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