She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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