we have officially lost it.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
