Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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