one might say we're banned from that church
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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