i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
