I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
