If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
